A New Chapter In Life

A long relationship opened my eyes to what I needed to improve. I can list pages and pages of it, but I'm not going to do that. I would have to say that she was my greatest love, but unfortunately, things did not end up like a fairy-tale would usually end, "happily ever after", but instead, it ended up like a text book, you always learn something new out of it. I'm not going to do any bashing because no one needs that in their lives, and we have enough wars going on in this world, so why not promote peace.

I would have to admit that after the break-up, there were some hostel moments and saddened moments, but sometimes break-ups end that way. You can't let that moment give you thoughts of ending your life or thoughts of why you are still in this world because having negative connotations about yourself is not what God has intended for us. Humans are imperfect, full of trial and error, and if you say that you're perfect, you're wrong. Not one single person is. So with these imperfections, we must live with them. And with these trials and errors, we must learn from them. You are always learning something new in everyday life, so in a situation as in a break-up (for example), you're like a driver stuck in a dirt, bumpy road, but eventually, you'll get back on that smooth, asphalt or concrete road. Life is not meant to be like a walk in the park, otherwise, where would the challenge be?

Anyways, life is good...actually life is great! These past 4 days I have been waking up with the biggest, widest smiles on my brownish-yellow mustache having face. The Mohawk is no more, but I can always bring it back. I have grown into a strong-hearted man that thinks, like the Adidas slogan, "Impossible is Nothing." You look at the world today and the people that broke barriers and paved a future for us...the Manny Pacquiao's, the Barack Obama's, the Malcolm X's, the Martin Luther King, Jr.'s! But those are only a few mentioned. But back on topic, like a Keri Hilson song, "Just get back up when it knocks you down." Life is too precious to dwell, so be happy for everyday you live.

To my family (I consider friends as family), I never thanked you for saving my life.

Therefore, I'll leave you with a line from the film Forrest Gump: My momma always said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

Lack of Motivation

I need something to push me over the edge, something that'll drive me, get me motivated. I really should start getting myself to the basketball games earlier so I can help my team win. A bad habit I need to improve on...being punctual and on time, or better yet, early. I can do so much on this team if I just get that through my thick stubborn skull. How can you depend on someone if they miss half the game? A big mistake on my part. My teammates probably think that I don't really care about the team, and honestly, they're partly right to think that way.

This next upcoming game, I'll be more assertive, more aggressive, and I'll show them that I can be a leader by showing up early to work on my game and hopefully gain their respect back. There's much I need to work on within this upcoming week.

July 17, 2009

Today is the final day I'm here in the Philippines. Due to the storm in Baguio, it's been raining since yesterday. Some colleges have been suspended due to the rain and there's flooding on some parts of the road. The traffic isn't as bad, it's actually pretty clear. 

I'll definitely be coming back next year. Hopefully I'll be done with school and ready to move on with life. We arrived at the airport, and ready to leave. I'll miss all my relatives. Time to depart.

So aside from checking in, my mom has some kind of irritation to her right eye. It's really red while the other eye is completely fine. I told her that it's pink eye, but she said she could fix it. Now we're going into quarintine because they're taking precaution to the other passengers that will be on board the flight. She's still arguing for better seats, but honestly I don't really care. I just want to get on the flight and get back home without being stressed. I always get stressed coming back.

I'm just waiting here till my mom gets her eye checked out by the doctor here at the airport. Listening to some music by 'Drake' to calm my nerves. I'm ready to come back home and ball like an animal. I'm always confident that I will succeed, otherwise you'll give up early.

Almost 20 minutes have passed. I think our flight might be postponed due to her eye irritation. If so, I guess that leaves me no choice to stay another day here. It's a possibility.

But fortunately, it will not be a possibility because my mom was cleared to board our flight. I just got done eating a special chicken siopao and 2 small enseymadas. Packed myself some Pringles in case I get hungry later on the flight. It's just a matter of time till we board Korean Airlines! I'm ready to eat more airplane food. 

Tuesday, here in the Philippines, Kobe Bryant is making his rounds on his Nike Asia Tour. I should have extended my stay but I found out too late. I wants to pick up a pair of Nike Kobe IV gold medals, but they won't be out till tomorrow. Guess I'll have to pick them up when I get back to Cali, plus I still have to get David & Cheri a baby shower gift. 

I decided that I just want to go to school in the Philippines. It'll give me a better chance for a better opportunity towards a goal of mine, which is playing professional ball. Can't wait to come back, quit my job, focus on school and playing ball before coming back to the Philippines. I'm done with work, officially! Time to work on hoopin and school.  

Just landed at the Incheon Airport (4:50pm) aka ICN. I'm ready to do some shopping, hopefully pick up a fresh pair of gold Kobe iv's. It would make my trip that much better if they had them.

Just boarded flight KE011 to LAX. Bout to pick me up a pair of Kobe's when I get there. It's now about 8:01pm here in Incheon. I'm ready for the long long trip back to LA. Can't wait to come back home.

So the flight attentant that's sitting at te emergency exit thought I was Japanese. I guess it was the Onitsuka's I was wearing. Anyways, she's beautiful. I caught her name, S. E. Jung. I have to spit game at her. I wish I knew the Korean language. 

I'm currently watching this Korean movie titled "More Than Blue". Kei, a man abandoned by his parents, and Cream, a woman wbi lost her family to a car accident, are partners who support each other. When Kei finds our that he has less than 200 days left to live, due to his illness, he starts looking for a man who could take care if Cream.

Within a matter of hours, of had this Korean dished called "Bitmap." who am I to complain, it's delicious! Ever since making eye contact with the stewardist, and having a small conversation with her, I have become infatuated with the Korean culture. Next will be learning to speak the language. My infatuation is limitless. "I wish I could ____ every girl in the world...", you can fill in the blank.

July 15, 2009

I picked up a silicone case for my phone after seeing all the scratches that have appeared on the back of my phone. It's was only Php 150, which turns into about $3-4 American dollars. Pretty cheap that I'll probably purchase another one. All they had was a clear skin because the only black skin was damaged and the original skin they had was way too expensive selling at Php 700, which is still kind of cheap at around $10-11 or so.

We are on our way to Divisoria to purchase more items fora bargain price. So far, I haven't had the opportunity to spend my money due to my mom butting in a paying for me. It's cool and all, but I have my own money.

So we went to MOA today so I can pick up a fresh pair of Nike Kobe IV Gold Medals, but I was disappointed by the Nike store, of all stores bot carrying the product saying that they're not available. But the night ended with delicious Halo Halo from Razon's. The ice is so soft, and the milk is great! I love the milk here, it's sweet. 

After Razon's, I had to check out the Hooters here. I got 2 bottles of San Miguel Premium beer. The taste reminds me of Stella Artois back home. Very very similar, probably might even be the same beer. I guess my cousin Alyssa is "lasing" translates to drunk in English. But the girls there just weren't the same as they were back home. It's weird spitting game with family around, especially with your mom. Haha, but I did it anyways. 

Now it's time to head back home and rest. 2 more days till I return to San Diego. I'm not ready to come back yet. There's much to do here before I come back. Places to see, people to meet, a basketball contract to sign. I'm determined. When I come back home, all I'll be doing is working out and hoopin. I'm gonna be the best and bring international hoopin from the Cali to the Philippines.

July 11, 2009

Clubbing at Engineering. I know, weird club to call it, but it is what it is. We happened to cross the governor of Illocos @ 2:49am in the morning. What a crazy night. I can see the look of this one chick eyeing me from across the floor. I paid her no attention, taking small glimpses here and there. She came up to me at the end of the night...

July 10, 2009

Today I woke up with back pains. Not back spasms, but because of a sun burn from yesterdays swim at Currimao. It was beautiful! It ended up raining as we left, but the rain felt so good. Like a massage from a shower head you would get from your bathroom shower, but just all over your body.

Well, I wasn't as flexible as I normally would be. I slept most of the day as the rain kept pouring down. As the rain ceased, it was about 4-4:30 in the afternoon and we went outside for some exercise. We played basketball till the sun went down and the dusk appeared. It was a good workout as I needed it after several days of just eating, sleeping and watching tv. I took a much needed shower after sweating. Not it's time to eat again, but I'm still full from the Shakey's pizza and the chicken noodle soup I had earlier for lunch.

Engineering bar & karaoke & videoke 

July 8, 2009

I guess waking up early and taking a shower wasn't really necessary. I thought that we would be leaving early fir Illocos Norte, but instead, we are still here at Bagiao. Some of my family went to the market to fetch for some greens (not that type of greens of that's what your thinking), but greens such as lettuce and cucumbers. 

And now I'm just sitting in the dining room waiting to eat. I guess this vacation has showed me how much of a fat ass I can be, but I'm on a vacation right?! I should enjoy myself while I'm out here. But all in all, I still am very cautious about my wait. 

Either after waking up, immediately I will work out with push-ups and sit-ups. Since I have been working out after I am done in the shower. I just got done running up and down the stairs to build up my heart rate.

So after leaving the cool weather of Bagiao, we traveled to Currimao in Illocos Norte. But before we were able to leave the city, Uncle Stanley was stopped due to color coding. Color coding is assigned to vehicles to limit the number of vehicles that are allowed to be on the road. Thus, it is necessary to control the amount of cars on the road otherwise there would be a crowd of vehicles and always traffic.

So after traveling about 4 or 5 hours or so, we finally arrived at our destination. The weather is hot, but who am I to complain about where we are staying. I am very fortunate to be around family right now. The time now is 11:56pm.

I figured out what kind of tattoo(s) I would like to get. I want it some where around the neck to say California raised, and the Filipino sun with the three stars above my clavicle.  It's time to sleep or in that matter, try.

Till tomorrow...I can't wait to run in that fresh ocean water! Counting down sheeps in my sleep.

We woke up at around 7:30 together readt to swim. We first ventured the land to check out possible future investments. As far as I see, I don't think it's the right investment for me. Maybe later in there future, but it's not my area. 

We passed through Auntie Herring's abandoned house. I guess it's not being occupied by Uncle Jun & his new wife. Good for uncle because I believe his old wife wasn't doing shit for him as what I was told. 

After checking out the possible investments, we finally traveled to Currimao to go swimming. There we had a great time swimming in the warm water even though it rained. 

After the consumption of 4 bottles of Colt 45 containting 7.2% alcohol, I went back into the water even when it started to rain. I'm really thinking about coming back to play ball ad I know that I can be very successful. More successful than the players that are already playing here in the PBA or the PBL. 

I guess were on our way to Pagudgud. I don't really know what to expect as my kuya hadn't described it to me. I don't know where were going or what were doing. Oh, and my big toe nail came off today. Finally, as I was waiting for the dead nail to finally release and a new nail to be born.     

July 7, 2009

So we went shopping and my mom got dropped off. She went shopping by herself while we went off site seeing. So after an hour of shopping, my mom was nowhere to be found. So Auntie Senny called the police and half went to the police, the other checked back home. 

Next thing you know, she's back home. Everyone was worried because people were saying stories that she fell off the horse and went to the hospital, or someone pushed her into a car and held her up. Nothing serious. She thought we were parking at the bottom, and lost us, so she took a taxi back home.

Funny story to tell for ages!

My brother was eating these snacks called Choco flakes. I was picking my feet at the same time and picked off a piece of dead skin. I threw it at my brother and he put it in his mouth. I thought he knew that it was a piece of skin I was picking at because I was picking at it for awhile. I guess not since he put it in his mouth. I started to laugh and he spit it out. He thought it was a choco flake. It was funny! I was laughing really hard.

July 6, 2009

We will be going to a place called Bagiao. It's like a destination to take a relaxing vacation, where the climate is cooler than usual. I am getting used to the weather here. Yesterday, I was supposed to hoop with Mark Anguya, who is a PBA hooper here. 

I guess next time I'll show him what I got. Hopefully it's soon because I feel like I'm getting really rusty. So what to do? Probably go swimming and get a workout in. I gotto be in great shape when I come back.

So we made it to Bagiao. It's cold up here, but the weather is good. We're so high up that it was raining up here. Alanis was supposed to have school today, but she was absent. I guess were staying here for a night before heading to Illocos Norte. So what's the plan for tonight? Probably just sleep till tomorrows big trip.

Oh, and I finally saw Wolverine. It was a good movie.

July 4, 2009

I started to hear the chatter of voices and the stomping an tip-toeing of footsteps at around 5:00am. I guess I was excited the my brother is finally done with school, and a burden is released amongst his shoulders. Now he can relax and live a life beyond life, one away from studying, and studying, and studying. 

I, therefore would like to come out here to study, but more importantly hoop. They don't know how much of a talent that is passing their program. De La Salle- College of Saint Benilde is missing a true player, an import player from the states that is a threat at all aspects. I wasn't joking to Apet when I said that I would win every award in the PBA. Confidence gives me the swagger, thus the swagger gives me confidence. 

In the US, it's considered as Independence Day. The day to celebrate the independence of the great country of the US of A. So what to do today? Celebrate the day of independence followed by more importantly, the day of my brother's graduation on this special day. 

So after this joyous occasion, we shall feast! Hopefully there will be no Robin Hood to steal our Snickers and ruin the feast. Although it would be funny to say the line of a commercial that was funny. ("Our feast...is ruined) Haha, hilarious! I didn't eat a darn thing, Noe I'm going to starve till lunch! I've done it before, and it'll be worth it if were going out to eat afterwards. 

I want to go out tonight and drink. That's what I've been accustomed to these last couple of days that I've been here in the Philippines. It's time to come out and exploring my options and expanding my horizon. Circulate and disperse by communicating and socializing. The way of the world is to whom the people you meet, thus they will get you places. All in the power of communication.

It's 8:30am and the graduation ceremony is holding a brief Baccalaurate Mass. 

An hour later, there was a passing out of special awards, magna cum laude, cum laude. Now, the degrees are being handed out. Kuya Mark had already received his. In the meantime, I had a meal upstairs since I did not eat breakfast. I had a chicken sandwich and a meat empanada. My beverage of choice was mango juice. 

Now, I don't want to sit down, I want t stand so all this phone can digest correctly. 

Now all of the awards are handed out. It's time for the graduates to throw their hats and celebrate!   

July 3, 2009

Uncle Tony, Ate Marlene, and Francis aka chi (like chi-chi from Dragonball) are still gambling and playing Tongits. It's passed my bedtime and I'm ready for tomorrow as hopefully well get to watch Transformers 2 in IMAX! I can't wait to see how beautiful Megan Fox is again. How I wished she was my girl...time to catch some zzz's.

So I spent the whole day resting. Watching some tv, emailing and tweeting; keeping up to date with the world. So a day without going out felt good. No worried of traveling back and forth, getting stuck in traffic, dripping of sweat from the hot, humid weather. 

Ate Ayees wanted to go out and drink. I was up for it, but it got a bit late. She wanted to go out still, but no one felt like going out, so she stayed in. Everyone played Tongits, and gambled the night away.

Everyone was here, Kuya Niño, Kuya Niño's wife, DK, Apet. They all arrived from Bicol, besides Apet, he arrived from school. We all had a good time and just stayed home and drank. I was a little buzzed after 3, but I definetly could have drank more, but Kuya's graduation was within amatter of hours. 

It's 12:00am, and I'm ready to sleep. Got to get some sleep before Kuya Mark's big day tomorrow.  

July 2, 2009

Today, is another day of waking up early. I woke up a little later, at around 7:30 or so. After a great night of sleep, and a relief of a stomach ache, I was ready to eat again. The whole day yesterday, I did not eat a full meal. I was able to eat longonesa and rice, 3 plates of it. It was a good feeling to be able to eat again. 

After breakfast, I watched a little tv before heading over to kuya Mark's school. It was a bit of a walk, but good exercise. Beats watching tv the whole day. Anyways, my brother wanted me to get a scholarship with the athletics program. I guess I'm too old to get a scholarship. But that's where my skills come into play. They don't know how much of a skilled athlete I am and how much they will regret it. I could lead they're school to a championship or championships. 

Either way, I'll find a place amongst athletes in the PBA and I'll dominate! Or PBL! Whatever the destination, I will be the best at what I'm doing. Not just a three point threat, but an all-around threat. No one will be able to stop me. I guess it's the swagger in me, but it's so neccessary! 

Anyways, were here at Robinson's Mall. Did a little shipping at this one store called "Colleczioné". I guess they are well known with shirts that have the Philippines map as their enscribed logo. How it's great to be Filipino, especially in this time where Filipinos take great pride in their nationality. 

I just got a facial. It, excuse my language, hurt like a motherf***er! But the after results was incredible. I saw the not white heads, but brown heads and was pleased with the results. I guess with pain, there is pleasure, and pain is love, which is so true. 

Now that I'm done, I'm waiting for Kuya mark to finish his facial. He's probably tearing up as I did. Good luck kuya! Haha, you'll need it, trust me! 

So I guess after this, we're headed to MOA also known as the Mall of Asia. Supposedly one of the biggest malls. I can't wait! Probably not enough time to hit up every single shop. What to buy? Probably nothing considering how picky of a shopper I am. 

I'm just ready to eat, but hopefully not catch a stomach ache and shit every so often. It was embarassing and painful. Something I don't want to feel again for the rest of this trip.

After a large (actually kind of small) bowl of Pho, I took another one of hopefully my last diarrhea shits. Gosh, I was so embarrassed to how loud it was. I guess that's hoe much I had to let one go, holding it for several hours. Pho wasn't quite authentic as the Vietnamese made it. Very shiesty, otherwise pretty good. I don't think there's time for MOA today, possibly tomorrow. 

I would like to go out and hoop, but I think people are about to go home at this time. If I knew how to get around in this place, then I would feel more clmfortable to wonder around and hoop as I please. The women here are alright, not quite at where I would like them to be. Not quite in the right place I guess.

My stomach pains are slowly going away. Thank God. (sigh of relief).

After a day at the mall, we finally arrive back home and relax. It's 11:42pm and I can't sleep. Just been talking to my brother about video games that we can make for the iPhone through the app store. 

I'm assuming the can of soda and the two glasses of coke that's been keeping me up this long. I forgot the caffeine that was in there. Time to sleep? No. I need to update and tweet as everyone would like to know what I'm up to. 

July 1, 2009

I woke up this morning at 6am. I ate a lot of pandesol, then went back to sleep because we could not leave till 10am or later. 

After 2 hours of driving, the weaving through traffic, we finally arrived here at Silag Proper. The weather here is very cool, and within a very nice area, but away from the city civilization. 

We packed the car consisting of Ate Ayees, Alanis, Uncle Tony, Uncle Boogs, Kuya Mark, Alyssa, Allison, Auntie and Kuya Mark's girlfriend Ate Mylene. I am sitting down while watching them play Tong Its. I am loving the cool weather here, and since I no longer have a stomach ache, I am enjoying my time. 

Looks like we'll be having Buko juice very soon. My Ate Ayees took a leave of absence today, which is great because I only see her mid day. Too bad Apet isn't here, but it's ok, study first. I am ready to sleep, or eat, or both. I wish I can tweet, or update my blog every so often but I've had no connection to the Internet. 

Oh yeah, there are many beautiful women here, especially at the mall. Ready to relax and enjoy time away from work. How I do not want to return and live a new life here in the Philippines. I think it's time for me to get away for a little bit.

I long for sleep...again. So sleeping didn't work out for me, as I have had an upset stomach the whole entire day. Kind of ruined the whole day for me because I was feeling qweezy. I took 5 shits, not solid, but liquid. And that is considered as diarrhea. I don't know if it was the food I ate at the food court or the water I consumed. I want to say it's the water. 

I'm feeling a bit better after taking a nice cold bath to cool off my warm body in this humid climate. 

Oh, I forgot to mention that in Tayagtag, we hit up the zipline at the picnic area. It was an experience that I have never experienced before. 

Now I'm ready to try to sleep off this stomach ache. Darn this adjusting. Robin Thicke is working his magic and putting me to sleep. Lyrically smooth. Stomach ache, please go away.

June 30, 2009 Tuesday

I woke up very hungry. I guess it's because I did not eat dinner last night. But Uncle provided adobo (goat marinated in oyster sauce) and fresh marlin tuna aka kilowhen. I forgot what it was called but it filled me up, or was it the beer? 

Well, I came down stairs to spam and eggs and pandesol. I feasted like a fat boy. How I feel so unproductive.

 I am very anxious to ball as I haven't played for about 3 days already. I feel like a couch potato. I can't just lay around listening to music and watching wrestling all day. That's just not me. I'm one of those physically active children that always has to run around the block or get out of the house and do something productive for my body.

Everyone is awake in the house, and Ate Ayess is talking about Boracay. I guess she really wants to go bad. 

So after watching tv, I finally get to hoop. After about a 30 minute travel to the YMCA, could have been shorter if there was no traffic, I hopped for about an hour. After paying php 600 plus php 100 for the usage of the ball, I was glad to finally get a workout in. Although it was very hot, I got a good workout in. 

There was this girl that was hating. She was like just him and used the world "special" in a hater way. My brother in my defense replied with "yes". 

So I changed my shirt and put on my kobe id's and started to hoop. The rim was very bouncy, but I managed. It was incredibly hot, but that wasn't going to ruin my workout. I lasted all the way through the full hour. I wasn't going to put it into waste.

I know I can definitely hang with these sorry as players that are playing here in the PBA. My competitiveness and my work ethic will definitely stand me out as a, shall I say "special" player. I believe in myself and the talent the a possess. I won't let my talent go to waste.

After hoopin, we met up with the rest of the fam at the SM mall. If I had dressed up well, I probably would have gained more attention, but I saw a few females eyeing. I felt really sticky, especially since I was sweating profusively. 

We then went to this photography place in Green Hills called Child's Play. They are excellent at photography taking. After, we then went to the Green Hills mall. There were a lot of foreigners there to my suprise. I've never seen so many white people, and a black family to my suprise. How weird, but I guess the world changes.

So I get my outfit there for my brother's graduation. This is the cheapest outfit that I have ever gone since back in the day. I am going to rock the shit out of it and make it look good! I guess it's that swagger talking. I gots to have it. 

After shopping, and eating, we arrive home and eat more. It was Auntie Ason's birthday. So I throw $5 her way to be nice. I wanted to give her $20 so she can enjoy it more. They first said she is easy to please as she only wants soap & shampoo. I was like, "that's it?!" 

So we celebrate, they play Tong It's and I finally fall asleep watching "Only You." I missed the end of the show...darn! I then wake up, take a bath, and head to bed getting ready for the next day.    

June 29, 2009 Monday

Last night, I really didn't get any sleep, but I tried the best I could to go back to sleep. Thank God I have this iPhone with all my music. I wouldn't know what to do without it. Throughout the boredness o raveling, my iPhone kept me sane with the constant steeting and the listening of music. (Currently listening to the "Evolution of Robin Thicke.)

It's about 6:57pm right now and one of my cousin's Alyanna is playing her PSP. I guess she loves that PSP.

Anyways, I guess were heading to Uncle Elisier's house. Their daughter, my Ate Marylou wanted us to come along to her house. I guess she wants to show off her big house.

Later in the day, we went to our Ate Marylou's in quotes "castle." It was just a joke though, although her house was very big and nice. Very well decorated with the addition of a 3rd floor attic transformed into an additional room. I ate way too much at that house, treated like a king of the castle.

There was this little kid that kept following me around. Ended up being my little cousin Eugene. He's a very smart energetic kid. We played with his Iron Man action figure and played make believe combat. I even sang because I wanted to have a good time in which I did. Ate Marylou is an excellent backup dancer by the way, as well as a good singer. And might I add, Ate Patima was a good singer too.

There were 2 dogs there, a brown hairless African dog. I have never seen a dog of that breed before. Her name was Isabelle; she didn't like me very much. The other was a male Rottweiller. He, on the other hand was friendly. He was talked of as the king of the block. I wouldn't doubt it.

Later Uncle Gene bought me some beers, Red Horse to be exact. That's the first I've had Red Horse as it is unbelievable good! "Extra Strong" as the label reads. After 3 bottles, I was feeling the affects of the alcohol content, which is still unknown to me.

Tito boy boy told me stories of 1975 and how he was in the Navy. They say he is very strong for his age, and I believe it.

Uncle Gene is a retired 2nd Lieutenant in the Philippines Army. Very highly recognized Uncle Gene talked about his cock fighting and would like me to come back so I may experience the excitement and thrill. He also that Filipino women are the best because they love only one.

Today resulted in a good day. 2 bathrooms break to what they call the "CR" or "comfort room." Thanks to Uncle Stanley for making those stops, otherwise I would have pee'd in my pants.

I Gotta Getaway...

From all this constant nagging, and the screaming of little children running around while trying to catch some z's. So I think a nice trip out of the state would be nice. Haven't been to Vegas in a while. And it's always nice to forget about what you're leaving behind. Traveling sometimes can ease the pain. I guess you can say it's kind of like a remedy. I don't plan on spending too much money out there, since it is a trip from Monday through Thursday, actually Tuesday through Thursday.

The trip officially begins tonight as we leave for Vegas at around 8pm or so. One of my boys', Vince has a timeshare over at Vegas so we'll be saving money on the room. He's already in Vegas so I guess he's just waiting on us. I'm just looking forward to bringing my drink along with me wherever I may please since roaming the streets of Vegas with alcohol is legal.

My packing is done, but the planning of bringing food and alcohol is next on the list. There's not much time, as there is only a few hours left to take off. I don't really want to party hard, even though that's what you're supposed to do when you're out there. I just want to relax and have a grand time, catch some shows and just chill with friends.

Vegas here we come!







WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS

2 More MVPuppets Commercials

Both Pretty Darn Funny!!

Mrs. Lewis' Kid



That Is How You Jump Into A Car

Another Year Younger

I don't normally have a big celebration for my birthday, but I like to keep it simple and spend time with the family. After all, they're blood and they've always been there for me. There's some things I wish I could have done differently, but I'm not that type of person who is very extravagant and flashy.

So I had no work today, but I did have a basketball game today. We lost, but you can't always have it your way. Anyways, later that night, i just had a few friends come over and we just chilled and relaxed. One of my co-worker's made this cake that why absolutely delicious! I knew that once I took a cut into that it was going to be good.

I didn't get everything I wanted, but that's alright because I didn't really expect a whole lot so that's okay.

So now that I am another year younger, I am another year more mature, another year more ready to establish myself and ready to make a name for myself in this world. Time to use my ability and put it into good use.

Wish me luck in the future.

Another birthday has flown by.

2 More Lebron vs. Kobe Nike Commercials

"Unstoppable"



"Mrs. Lewis"

2 of the Funniest Nike Commecials

HAHAHA!!! HILARIOUS!!!

My New Girl Group Crush

I like The-Dream's music. With that said, Electrik Red is an all-girl group signed to The-Dream's label Radio Killa. Watch the video:



Enjoi!

R.I.P. Alex Drake March 29, 2009

When I first met you, I already knew you were going to be the chillest Assistant Store Manager we were going to have. We connected with stories about the Lakers, Louis Vuitton, Nintendo Wii. And we were so close in age that we just clicked. There were so many good things I could say about her. There will never be another Alex, another person so influential to anybody's life. The last thing she said to me before she had her baby, "Finish school Julius." Now I have every reason to finish school and the extra motivation for living life.

Alex, I love you and although we were not immediate family, we were family, The Home Depot family, a great family. You will deeply be missed and always apart of my life. Thank you for the memories. I will see you soon.

Lord, thank you for the blessing of having Alex in my life. I cannot thank you enough.

UPDATE: On the March 29, 2009, the Mira Mesa Home Depot was to have a store meeting. She had texted at approximately 11:14AM that she would be attending the meeting. She sent the text to Traci. At 11:18AM, she was involved in an accident that unfortunately took her life.

The crazy thing is that I knew she was there. Our culture believes that once you see a moth or a butterfly after someone passes away, then that is supposed to be her spirit.

It gave me the chills, but I knew she was there.



The color pallet of this moth is just out of the ordinary. And the size of the moth was no normal moth.

An article from CW6:

DUI Crackdown following Young Mother's Death on SR-67

CHP officers will be stepping up their DUI patrols on State Route 67 with the help of a $265,000 grant.
Pam McKeirnan angrily talks about State Route 67. On Sunday, she witnessed her 25-year old daughter, Alexandria Drake, die in a crash. Alex's 4-week old son Jayden was in the backseat but survived the crash.

"This little boy is now motherless, because we don't have center divides on that road -- because a man was racing," McKeirnan said.





Pam McKeirnan holds grandson Jayden.

Police say two reckless drivers racing down the highway took the life of McKeiran's daughter. Pam believes a safer highway 67 would've saved Alex.

”There are trees and it is the trees that killed my child. Removal of the trees and widen the road," is what she demands.

There have been 50 head on collisions, with 7 deaths in 7 years, according to county leaders who say they are trying to make highway 67 safer.

Caltrans spokesman Bill Valle at a news conference on Tuesday said, "The 67 it is not wide enough in many areas to put in K-rail. You would have to widen the roadway and have to account for left turns."

Valle says long term safety improvements for highway 67 are only on the chalkboard. Speed sensors on the road along with rumble strips on the medians are the short term solutions.

Jay Drake, Alex's husband, thinks more needs to be done. He said, "When they come around those corners -- because there is a lot of corners -- someone has to think, 'Oh, wow -- is there going to be a car coming on my side of the road?'"

With the federal grant, CHP officers will add 2200 more patrol hours to conduct more roving DUI patrols and setup sobriety checkpoints.

McKeirnan is hopeful this will save lives on what's proving to be a deadly highway.

Alexandria's family has set up a memorial fund to help Jayden's future. If you would like to contribute, make your donations to the "Alex and Jayden Drake Fund" at the Mission Federal Credit Union.

Tragic Death



A medical helicopter lands on a closed section of SR-67 Sunday afternoon at the scene of a head-on crash. (Photo: JC Playford)

California Highway Patrol officers are looking for the driver of a white BMW which may have been involved in the deadly accident that took the life of 25-year-old Alexandria Drake. The accident happened Sunday morning on State Route 67 near Archie Moore Road in Ramona.

At the crash scene, Home Depot workers held an unplanned prayer service on Monday. There wasn't a dry eye on the side of the road where Alex Drake's Volvo had crashed into a tree. Drake’s co-workers from Home Depot comforted one another and left messages behind on a small cross.

"It's just sad," Laura Cortez tearfully said. "The baby's never going to get to know his mother."

Drake's newborn baby boy had been strapped into the backseat and survived the crash.



Diane McMahon heard the impact of the crash. She rushed to the site and stayed there the whole day to comfort family members. She said, "It will stay with me forever to see the baby chair laying out there."

CHP officers say the accident happened as a Jaguar, going about 80mph, tried to outrace a white BMW. The Jaguar lost control.

Investigators say Drake's mother was riding in an SUV ahead of her daughter. The Jaguar clipped the SUV as a deadly chain reaction started.

Drake hit the crashed Jaguar, sending her Volvo into a tree. The driver in the Jaguar went to the hospital. The other racer fled the scene.

Laura Cortez made a plea to that driver. "That person knows they were involved and if they have any kind of heart for any family, especially that baby, just go to the police and turn yourself in."



The driver of the Jaguar was 47-year-old Melvin Pearless of Ranchita. He's not under arrest, but he probably will face a vehicular manslaughter charge.

As for the driver of the white BMW there is no description on that person, but police would like to talk to the driver.

If anyone has information on the crash you are asked to call the CHP at 619-401-2000.

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART

A Book Without Illustrations

Why is it that some books contain illustrations. For the purpose of using your mind of imagination. Many of my good friends have already graduated from college, and I feel like by sitting here and wasting all this time, I need to really sit down and prove to my parents that I can be successful. There's work to be done and not plenty of time to waste. How about a situation where you gave up to soon. Some people are nervous about what they say because it can flip into a negative situation. Maybe because people are afraid to let people what they know. I list myself as one of those people. But you always have to stick by your decision. It's hard seeing your mind think about defeat, and the path to glory is drifting away into the darkness. But suddenly, a movie gives to a sign of hope and suddnenly you see another path to glory and a shot of redemption. Before it's too late, I told myself that I would never give up. Sometimes, things need to be said and need to be controlled. I am no punk and I definitely have a mind of my own. So why am I taking it in? Because I'm afraid to speak my mind and say want I truly would like to say. "I will never give up!" "I refuse to give up!" those were the statements strengthen me into a stronger individual mentally and emotionally. There's much to learn in life so I pass on intervening and respect her decision. Maybe it takes time, or a little reminder that you still care, or a little of both? But I keep to my place right now and building her up with trust will only help me further in life. Seeing is believing the unbelievable. Step up my choices, my decision making and my judgements. Being aware gets me one step closer.

Anyways, the championship was won by the team of "Whack Attack" that I'm proud to say I was on. And we beat the team that beat us in the regular season and ruined our perfect season. Now it was pay back and showed them what the team really does. I feel bad for the other team. They actually ran it last year and were defending champs, and they didn't receive any type of award. We get t-shirts to prove were the champs. It was fun besides the whole being injured part. There's much to do and much to improve on.

Love & Basketball, the perfect movie to watch on a date. The music, screenplay just go hand in hand. On of my all-time favorite movies.

The Wood is next to watch. You know love when you see it.

An Oppotunity To Grow

I fell in love with a wonderful woman, but things didn't go according to plan. We were once very serious, engaged and ready for marriage. But because of the mistakes I've made, I have pushed her to the limit. Our relationship gave me valuable lessons and made me into a better person. We are still very good friends, actually we can each call each other best friends. As odd as it seems, and even if she has met a new person, my heart is stronger. She can talk about him, although sometimes I'm kind of sick of her talking about him, but I put up with it because my strength is listening, caring, and with everything I put her through, I owe her everything. That's why I want to be the best friend I can be. No matter what, I promised that I would be there for her. Maybe I shouldn't be talking to her at all, but a promise is a promise an that's what I intend to keep.

So now that I am single, I can explore my options and focus on my priorities. Since being back on the ocean, there are plenty more fish in the sea, although I lost a big catch. Life is life and sometimes it doesn't end up according to plan. There are bumps in the road and many things to learn. This is an opportunity for me to shine brighter.

I'm in great shape, my confidence has boosted, and my priorities are my priorities not someone else's. It's time to grow up and be a better man.

M.O.B.

Motivated!

A Reply To "Don't Answer That"

All I can say is that if there's a hot girl sitting in the corner, I would be chatting it up with her. I'll serenade her with my manly voice and put her in a deep trance of love. Ha, but I would definitely step up to the plate and go for the home run by talking a little bit and getting to know her. What have you got to lose? Exactly, so just do it! Everyone gets nervous, use that as a rush.

So Ulster my friend, give me a call so we can discuss more about this female, plus I no longer have your number since obtaining a replacement of a new old phone. Meaning a brand new 1st generation phone, not to be confused with 1st generation: Edge and 2nd generation: 3G.

I was contemplating on a blackberry storm, until I updated my iPhone. Got it unlocked and now I have GPS and MMS and not to mention a legit AIM.

Contemplating: Macbook Air or Macbook Pro
Will get: iMac 24" or any other iMac I see that is appealing

Love vs Money

He has a unique voice and a very talented writer. The-Dream has written tracks for numerous artists such as Rhianna's "Umbrella" and J. Holiday's "Bed." He also worked on Mary J. Blige's CD "Growing Pains" that won him a grammy for best album. At first, My first reaction to the CD was that it wasn't as good as the first., but the more and more I listen to it, I enjoy it. I think it's actually a great 2nd album and a highly recommend that your 'purchase' it (just trying to stimulate the economy and supporting anti-piracy). I bet if he wrote me a track, and I sang it, I would be like a J. Holiday. Ha, how I wished my voice was as good as his. If you can't afford it, I'll allow you to download it.

Music makes my world go round.

"When they ask you do I dance like Chris, tell them no, but as much rubbing as we do, I can start a fire." -The-Dream

What Hurts The Most

What hurts the most is when someone gives up on you. That's the worst feeling in the world. I felt that I have given everything, snowboard gear, painted room with the addition of new furniture, gifts like louis vuitton bags, kicks like fire red iii's, bmps, air stabs, and heels, a camera, a wii, and other things. It's unbelievable how much lives can flip. People don't realize and don't go into deeper thought about the things a person does. People throw it away and think about themselves. It was never about money, it was about love. Love is a powerful thing. People come in and out of your lives like words come in the ear and out the other. Just remember to take things slow. She ruined a life of prosperity. She ruined my education. If it wasn't for her, I would be off and done with school, bills would already been paid off a long time ago, and I would be a little successful in life.

All I can do is bounce back, live life and play the game. Since things have changed, I have been working out hard, getting my body in shape to where it used to be. There's some things I have improved in, and pains that I have endured and learned from. My heart is steel, I feel like I can endure anything. All I can do is get my mind off completely by occupying myself, although I always want to do the right thing, I should stop picking up her phone calls when she calls because it makes me think and messes up my day. I guess now, I have to work harder, workout harder, get my whole body into steel, and make a statement.

Lord give me strength.

New Phone Comes New Consequences

So I wasn't fully prepared to swap out my old iPhone for a new one. My phone was still under warranty dead pixels began to spread with each day becoming worse and worse. So all my music, or what music I had on there is gone, my masturbation videos are wiped out, and my private stash of pictures are also gone, oh and most importantly, since I have no computer, and was too lazy to finish writing down all of my contacts, they are all completely gone. So All I have left for numbers are from A-C. Way too many numbers after that. Well, I guess it's time for a new beginning and a fresh new start to my new life. Brand new phone: check. Black Audi A8 and black Ducati 989 or 1098, my fantasy of a threesome will soon be complete. Who needs a girl when you can get more than one. Time to step up game and play with the big dogs. People don't realize what was right in front of their faces. You are who you are and you will never change who you are. Egos clash and people are too stuck living a lavish lifestyle. It's just how it is. I mean, money will never change me. It will never change my personality, it will never change me. Anyways, the iPhone is a brand new 2g iPhone, not a 3G. It would have been nice to get a 3G, but anything is better than nothing at all. I don't have myspace or facebook, so please call me and leave your name and number.

I can walk on my ankle, minimal pain, cannot run yet. If you have Vicoden, please kindly donate them to me.

Thank you!

From Pain To Pleasure

So Wednesday night, I had a basketball game. So half way through the game, I attempt a shot block, but everything went wrong when I landed on the opponents foot a tweaked my ankle. To my suprise, no one came to my aide, no teammates or friends from the crowd. But you know what, that kind of thing happens. Well I was wearing a pair of 2k5s that I have since retired. Even with the ankle strap, I still managed to sprain my ankle. Ended up being a high ankle sprain. I didn't go to the doctor because there was no time. So I took every precaution by taping up my ankle, elevating and icing. It was so painful, I could not even sleep. It was just so uncomfortable putting my foot under the blanket and especially the throbbing pain that was coming from it. The next day, I had my foot worked on by an herbal doctor. She had this small container consisting of coconut oil. She took the coconut oil and applied it on my ankle, massaging and working out the cold areas and making sure my foot stayed warm. Beats going to a doctor and forking over a tremendous amount of money just to get some x-rays confirming that it's swollen and getting medication for it. Why should I have to pay hundreds of dollars for that?

So Friday, I come into work on crutches. It helped ease the pain on my ankle. By the end of the night, I was able to walk little by little on it. To my suprise, I didn't think I would be able to walk for another week, but it just feels so good! It's just amazing how fast it's heeling! Anyways, after the painful massage of cocnut oil, she wrapped my leg with Ginger.

I was supposed to head up to Anaheim Thursday night, but my ankle was just too jerked up, so I stayed home instead. Saturday night, I was supposed to hit up Onyx Downtown to party, but I decided to stay home instead and get my ankle better. So I work out to relieve all this stress of pain from my ankle and everything else. Now I feel great and ready to work not only for money, but especially on my body. My physicality will soon be at the level I am hoping to be at once more. 8 pack here I come! That's right ya'll! Time to get back in shape. If you want to work out with me, I'll get your body in tip top shape as Summer arrives. Hit me up anytime. I'm serious, you're looking at someone who will change your life. Get up and do something.

Julius is coming back.

Pain is pleasure. Believe dat!

Dueces!

Tuesday

So my day began knowing that I would spend the day with Jaina. It's hard to see her as just a friend, but that's just how things go sometimes. All that matters is that we still keep in contact with each other and still manage to tell each other everything. She is the only person that I could confide in and truly knows me inside and out. Anyways, we talked on the phone for an hour or so and she finally decided that she wanted a new phone. It was definitely time for a new phone after the episode I had witnessed. I had told her that I was eligible for an upgrade since I have the 2nd generation iPhone (not 3g), so I could have gotten any phone I wanted. I was originally going to use it to buy her a phone for Christmas, but unfortunately, other things came up. Anyways, we got off the phone to get ready to check out the phone at AT&T.

I arrive at her house, and take her to also run a few errands. First off, we hit up the AT&T store the recently just opened up by my house. It's an extremely big store with so little merchandise. You can run around the store without actually knocking anything over. Anyways, we walked in and were kindly greeted by one of the sales reps there. He helps us out every step of the way. While he checked on the inventory on the back for the Samsung Eternity, Jaina and I checked out the phone on display. At first, Jaina was very disappointed because she thought there was no qwerty board. But we later figured out that you have to tilt the screen in order for it to become a qwerty board. She told me she fell in love with the phone. So, we got started right away to walk out the store with her new phone. It was quite a process, but everything went in an orderly fashion. So after about 20-30 minutes in the store, Jaina was the new owner of a brand new Samsung Eternity.

After hitting up the AT&T store, we had lunch at L&L's. Since Willy's Workshop was next door, we stopped through the store, said wassup to the homie JR and checked out the inventory. Both women and men lines were honestly not looking good. They need to pickup a few more better clothes an lines. We were both famished and were ready to eat. I ordered the chicken katsu as usual and Jaina ordered the breaded Mahi Mahi. What was amazing to me to see was her eating the macaroni. I would have never thought that she would let alone finish the macaroni. It's just weird how people suddenly change. Maybe I just wasn't that person able to change her. And she was like I'm finished before you, but she didn't realize how much chicken to her little mahi mahi. My portion was just remendously bigger.

After feeling a bit bloated, Jaina wanted ice cream from Rite Aid. So we headed to the Mira Mesa location, but for some reason it was out of order. I'm assuming that the lady at the register was too busy or just didn't want to serve ice cream. So we were very irritated about that. Jaina had a Hello Kitty bank that she wanted to empty out at one of the Navy Federal branches, but only the Del Mar and the Mission Valley locations were the closet to carey those change machines. So I suggested that we hit up the Navy Fed off of Mission Gorge then head over to the Target. She had to return a few things she bought during her stress shopping before surgery. She purchased a few Hello Kittty items impulsly because it was Hello Kitty. Well, we returned them they she found a pair of jeans, gray jeans frrom some designer. I told her not to get them and just dave money. I on the other hand, purchased the new The-Dream cd. His album is relaxing, and catchy and makes you think.

After Target, we wanted ice cream, the Jaina noticed the Kona Cakes across the street. But because they were out of Belgian White chocolate, more than half of the blended drinks selection could not be produced. So we decided to heck if there was a Rite Aid location near by. I recalled seeing a Rite Aid, and Jaina confirmed with Jacque that there was one by the Vons off of Mission Gorge. We stopped by Kristian's place to visit him and Kayden, and to finish our ice cream before we headed home. She reminded me to stop by my house to pick up the A Tribe Called Quest cd so she could bump it in her car. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I provided her a sub and amp for her car. So I got the cd and end up back at her house. I was awfully exhausted, but Jaina insisted that I walk Rocky. So I did, and he handled his normal territorial markings and waste of shit, and not to mention needed exercise since all he does is eat, sleep, and chill in the house most of the day.

So after that, I went home prepared myself for a basketball game. I'm a bit frustrated that we lost and I just want to leave it at that. I'll be headed to Anaheim at the Heat Lounge. Get some much needed away time from San Diego. There's just much more to explore in numerous ways. But all-in-all, thank the Lord it was a great day. It felt great hanging out with her and showing her that I want to be there and help her out. I may not have the brain of a genius, but I have the heart of a lion.

The Lord has treated me great no matter what I do, whether right or wrong. Thank you Jaina for being the rock in my life.

Lord, give me another chance, please.

A Weekend Filled With Birthday Celebrations

There's nothing better to take your mind off things and paint the town red, or hang out with friends, drink and have BBQ's. And also, what an expensive weekend as I believe I spent close to $200. I should be holding on as tight as possible with my money especially in this economy. I shouldn't be throwing everything away on unnecessary items. Any how, my tv is in and boy am I loving it. All I need to do is paint my furniture so everything matches, paint my room and drill more holes in my wall to elimiate a few loose wires that are just hanging. Although I wish I had a better tv, it beats watching on the tv I had before.

Off to the people who were celebrating birthdays: my homey Angel's girlfriend Mellanie celebrated her 23rd birthday March 7, my homie Allan celebrated his 24th birthday March 8th and my friend Romin's birthday is on March 11th I believe. It was a weekend filled with drinking, but this time, I made sure that I would not drink over my limit. Thank the Lord everything went smoothly. Well, I have been keeping busy by reading this book entitled "The Divine Comedy" by Dante. It's a difficult story to understand, but reading over it the 2nd time makes it more clearer; it makes better sense.

I am stoked about leaving for the Philippines because I'll be able to venture out and see what I have been missing. The fish that are in the sea. I was hanging out in an aquarium for a bit, but I got flushed down the toilet and now I'm back.

Happy birthday to everyone in the month of March!

Cheers!!

My Best Friend

Yesterday, I was blown away, literally. A couple of the homies watched this funny motherfuckin movie titled "Zack and Miri Make A Porno." Seriously, it was funny, and just made me think about my best friend. I may not have known her since 1st grade, but I've known her for a whole 4 years. It's crazy how fantastically good this movie is. I recommend it. A great date movie. It'll make you laugh, and make you want to have sex, or in my case reminisce about my ex-girl turned best friend for eternity. I just thought about the good things that went on when we were together, strong. I flash back at when I had my teeth knocked out from the dentist, and she was there by my side. I reminisce about the first time I met her, watching her volleyball practice, the first time we danced. She was as beautiful as I can remember, inside and out. Without her make-up, you can see her natural beauty. And her personality is unlike anybody's. I miss those days, and now all I can do is be the best friend that I can be as much as my feelings get hurt inside. I will always have the utmost respect for her and I will always love her. Some people don't recognize a great thing when they're gone. Zack and Miri, an instant classic. I talk to her more than I talk to my parents. She keeps me level-headed and always gave me such great advice and helped me with so many things. I admit, I acted really selfish and I don't know what came over me. I was just so attached at the hip, that all I can think about was Jaina. I'm just a lost soul trying to find it's way back. There's much to learn and much to accomplish. Thank you for showing me what love is and for being there every step of the way.

Shedding tears is a side of weakness.

And for that, I'm sorry.

What An Unproductive Day

The day began laying in my bed doing nothing but contemplating on everything that has been going on throughout my life, just having flashbacks. I browse my iPhone as I do no longer have a MacBook or a functional desktop. So I'm stuck blogging through my phone, thus no pictures to your avail. Continuing on with my story, I have been browsing back and forth on craigslist searching for a wall mount for my newest addition: WELCOME! 42" Philips Plaasssma TV! It's just too bad that I gave up television for Lent. But it's alright because there are plenty of other things to do that are physically active. I have been pretty caught up with bills, paying another credit card off. I keep getting side tracked, back to the story. So I was about to purchase a wall mount for my tv from The Home Depot, but luckily I was able to get a hold of a seller off craigslist. He sold me a wall mount and HDMI cables for a total of $70. I would have paid well over $100 for everything at The Home Depot. Thankfully, everything turned out well. But I am waiting for my boy Merle to help me install it on Thursday, as it's his day off from work. I'll hook him up with some brew and food, or cash for his help. That's the least I can do. I don't scrub off homies, plus he's taking time off his day off to help me.

I keep forgetting I need to paint my room. My room is going to be fresh! I keep telling myself that I need to paint my room, and now I have to do it tomorrow. I can't take a break or I can't wait because it needs to be done before I install the wall mount. There is much work to do in so little time. If you've seen my room, you can see the half of my room is half white, and the other off-white. So I have to paint over the half of the ceiling that is off-white to white, my crown molding black and the walls gray. I hope I can finish everything in one day. I'll have to have some more help from my friends. I'll ask Jared if he wants to come help me out. Or maybe my boy Ulster who I haven't seen in ages. Maybe he can take abreak from school to come see a friend. There is much I need to do before this tv is set into place. Let's hope that everything will be accomplished in the little time I have. I'll be sure to take before and after picks this time of my work. It's just too bad that I won't be able to post them for awhile, thus the whole no laptop, no desktop thing. Sucks!

Modded Playstsaion 2 for sale with monitor, 1 controller and a shit load of games. $200. I think it's a pretty good deal considering the mass amount of games plus the portable monitor being thrown in. It's ancient! Not really, but it needs to get out of this room and house. It needs to be replaced with a Playstation 3 so I can play some Time Crisis 4 and experiencing Blu Ray on high definition. The Wii can only do so much for me. Don't get me wrong, it's fun for parties and what not. Maybe it just needs to be modded to it's full potential. Yes, that's exactly it.

So what to do now. I guess hit the sheets and call it a day. Tomorrow a morning of school, then heading over to the closed down facevalue store to remove the remaining furniture. If you need fresh gear ladies and gentlemen, get a hold of me. My boy Shane is still selling shit from his garaje. My next addition will be a pair of black Common Projects Dress Shoes Perforated. I need to step up my grown man attire as I'm getting older and older. Simple is beautiful to me. Flashy was the younger days, so it's hard to pull off gold kicks. Even though I do have a pair of Supra 14k gold Skytops sz. 10 I'm looking to get rid of. $280 VNDS. Got other kicks I need to get rid of to thin out of my closet for more room for possibly kicks and not to mention gear. Wesc peacoat if not sold will be in my possession and in my closet! Audi A8, you are as good as mine! You are always in my dreams.

If you need kicks, or know anybody that needs or wants some, a PS2, get at me and let me know. I need to fund the Julius needs money foundation.

I want another slurpee and some food for my stomach.

Free Time

I have had lots of free time lately. Most of the time you'll find me studying, but now I have room to actually work-out. I haven't felt this good about my body in awhile. And now, I'm striving to be in the best shape of my life. There are parts of my body that need to be worked on and, that's alright because you can figure out what exercise, what type of training you need for that certain area.

I am in search of a laptop, an apple laptop preferably as I have had no troubles with them and have been completely satisfied with everything apple has to offer. I'm looking for a MacBook or MacBook Pro. I'm also looking for a new desktop. Possibly an Apple as well, but whatever has a better deal will be fine.

I've learned that things will come and go and sometimes fall into your lap. Just going where the wind takes me.

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

The memories we've shared, the time we've spent will always be treasured in my heart. As of this moment in time, words can't express my emotions. Now, it's time to envision a life moving forward from the engulfness of sadness. I am not ready to be out in the dating scene quite yet, but I'm ready for the challenged that are ahead. I am ready to work hard to where I deserve to be and that's to become successful, to become an entreprenuer, a successor in life itself. Friendship is a comrodary between two or more individuals, and being a friend is someone who will be there by your side, somone who is willing to listen when you need to talk, or gives you advice, or gives you a helping hand. And even if I can't say your mine, I love you to death. It's hard to fathom reality when it hits you right in the gut, dead center on the nerve of your heart, but God sent me here in this lifetime for a reason. To conquer and endure and move on.

It's time I get my life straight and figure out what exactly I would like to do with my life. I will be traveling to the Philippines in June, and I'll be looking to try-out for possibly the PBA or so. I'll will be dedicating most of my time to basketball. Hopefully it will land me a shot with a professional team. I'm a competitor, and I love basketball, so I believe it's time to work hard and go with the flow and aim for a goal. There are people that give up too soon, and I don't want to be that person. I think it's time to get my head straight, create a checklist of goals I would like to accomplish, and set my mind to them. A slap in the face into reality was what I needed. There's things I need to do for myself to figure out if I belong.

I'll probably be on the most terrible mood swings throughout this year, from sadness to happiness and vice versa. Tonight I'm sad about what I heard tonight, but I'm glad that I did hear it and the strong support that I have given. For how I wish I can turn back the hands of time, but what's done is done.

It's so hard to say goodbye to the yesterdays, but it is what it is.

READING THE PAST, LIVING THE FUTURE. (how true it is.)

To Ponder or Not To Ponder

Offering my services for a lady that is under medication and shouldn't even get behind the wheel of a vehicle is my concern. I have seen the affects of percocet and how unbelievable strong they are. The minute youre talking, next thing you know you're knocked out. And that's serious! You don't want to knock out while driving. That's considered driving under the influence and wreckless driving to not only your self, but especially to others being pedestrians or your fellow drivers on the road. So being the good friend that I am, I go out of my way to make sure that everything is ok, that transportation is arranged, that her safety is important. I hate talking about it in a friend's standpoint, but that's all I can do at this point. For Jaina, I would still do anything for her. Why? Because when you care about someone that's all you want to do.

I'm pondering a possible tattoo somewhere on my back or rib cage, or possibly both. I think it's about time for 1 or 2. To my friend Ulster, we will hang out soon my brotha. And for Lent, I gave up watching television. It's very difficult because people around me watch TV so I catch glimpses. Not that I'm trying to, it's just instinct. Anyhow, I would just like to thank the Lord for getting me through the pain I have been feeling and the situations I have been dealing with. There's much in life I have yet to experience.

I may get myself a puppy today, who knows. I'm going to be honest, I'm a bit lonely and having a pet will give me something to do. Occupy my time to nuture a man's best friend. It'll be a challenge, but a great challenge. It'll be fun!

Waiting for the wind to blow me away.

A Day of Gratitude

So I started the day off on a good foot. I promised Jaina, well I offered to change her oil in her car because well, she needs it and so does the car. Today she was off on surgery, so I wanted to clean her car up while she was gone. I performed a quick oil change followed by a thorough vacuum and wipe down. There were tons of trash laying around in her car, so I cleaned it up. As I vacuumed her carpets I noticed that they were still dirty, so I did some deep cleaning with a carpet cleaner that I had and vacuumed them dry. After that, I decided to wash her car. I then waxed her car. I finished up by shining her tires. Her sub wasn't working for awhile, so I taped up the wires a little bit and fixed it right up. Now it's up and running and ready to be bumped with some music.

After all that hardwork, I took a much needed shower as I was getting ready to get some things for Jaina. I stopped by the bank after my shower to pull out some money. I bought Jaina a get well card from Hallmark, and was debating on getting her flowers. But I knew people were going to get her some, so I decided to be different and put money to good use and be more practical. So I stopped by Mileage in Pacific Beach to get her some heels. I found a pair of High Heels black crock. I thought they would be a little pricey, but they were suprisingly $15. So I snagged them and headed out to Facevalue. Today was the final day the store would be open, and Im glad I went. I said goodbye to a great friend, my buddy Shane, but I'll be stopping by the store one final time to pick up some goods from him. I purchased a dope Ludwig jacket for $70 and some Kreed shades for $10! I wish I could buy more gear and upgrade my closet game. Friday, I'll be getting a pair of Common Projects BBall low's in white. I'm getting a great deal that I'll keep as a secret.

After talking with Shane for about a good hour and a half, I returned to Mira Mesa to drop off Jaina's car. Oh yeah, I also added gas to her empty car. Well I dropped her car off and Jaina's dad and Rocky were outside. I think Jaina's dad mowed the lawn because I noticed that while pulling in, the lawn was watered. I asked if I could come in and drop my get well card and present to her. I gave her the card and shoes, and she was stoked that they weren't flowers. And that was my main point of getting her shoes instead of flowers. You can't wear flowers, but you can wear shoes. I also wanted to check up on her and see how she was doing. We chatted for a little bit and everything went well. She asked me if I could walk Rocky, so I happily took him out. He took his usual large poopoo while on his walk. Jaina's dad wanted me to stay for dinner, so I did. I couldn't refuse his cooking, and boy how I missed it. We had fried chicken with salted eggs and steamed broccoli and opo. Food was so delicious that I wanted to eat more, but I didn't want to be too heavy because I had a basketball game. Well I had a tough game, scoring 4 points. But I had some crucial defensive stops at the end. The game was tied and our opponent had a final shot, but I was able to block it to send it into overtime. We ended up winning by one in overtime thanks to Shaun's free throw called before time ran out.

We played horrible, but still ended up with a victory. After my game, I wanted to check up on Jaina to see if she was ok. I felt bad because everyone was hitting her up, but I promised that I would call and check her status. So today is Fat Tuesday, but I don't want to go out. I would rather chill and relax than drink, get drunk, spend money and get out of control. I can't do that especially in this economical crisis. People don't realize how bad our economy is financially. We spend so much time partying that we forget about it. And for some people that's the idea, they don't want to think about it.

But I'll be staying in tonight to rest up and get up for church in the morning because its Ash Wednesday. So what should I give up? Sex like Josh Hartnet in 40 Days and 40 Nights, drinking, watching tv? I think I'll give up something a little challenging. I will avoid watching television and sink my heads in books followed by workout sessions. I think its time to facilitate a new me and work towards a new beginning.

As Ash Wednesday approaches, I am thankful for such a great day. I am in God's hands now and he will lead me to whatever he has in store for me. Thank you lord for sticking with me through my pain.

Pain is love, and vice versa.

Being Humble

No one catches the frustration on my face, the pain in my heart, the tears from my eyes. My emotions define who I am and the person I will become. Grown men shouldn't cry, and even through these rough times, the only way I can go is up. Living through pain is apart of life and as people disappear -- in and out of your life -- you must move on. Thus, I keep myself level headed and take everything with precaution. Life is too precious to throw away. So there's no reason to be mad except upon myself, but even the negativity towards myself makes me emotional and ponder on what could have been. So I stay humble and positive because there's no time for it. Being happy and humble is the key to longevity.

I pray to you Lord that you'll get me through each day, and keep me a level headed human-being. If I die before I wake, I know that it'll be my time to go. Thank you Lord for giving me life!

Living Through Life

It's hard to keep my composure, my cool. My swag is out of wack, lost, no where to be found. My heart is heavy, emotional, full of heartache. My eyes are glossy, exhausted, full of tears. Contemplating on what could of been, regreting all the mishaps, mistakes, life mistakes. Focused...more like losing focus. I'm losing more than focus, I'm losing myself. My body is empty, no skeleton, no brain, no heart. I am a lost soul in search for another. But heartache is just overpowering. I lost my confidence, my balance, my happiness, my passion, my everything. I close my eyes hoping I don't wake up, but I'm still alive. My sky used to be filled with sunshine, but now nothing but clouds filled with never-ending rain. Remembering the pain, escaping the pain, forgetting but never forgetting the pain.

Realize what you do before you do what you do.

Heart broken lost soul.

The Father Figure I Was Missing

Even though Jaina and I are no longer together, and chances as of now getting back together are unlikely, but possibly in the future we'll get back, you never know. I'm still young and she's still young and we have a lot of figuring out to do. Jaina's dad talked to me earlier today about our break-up and how its affecting me. And if it wasn't for his words of wisdom, I don't think I could really get through all of the bottled up emotions that I've kept inside. He really re-established ME, and what I need to do. I mean, I never really had a dad that I could talk to like that. He welcomes me into his home even though Jaina and I are no longer together, offers me to come by when there's family parties, invites me over to dinner, take Rocky for walks. He even gave me advice about school or if I didn't think school was for me, other options of jobs. He told me the jobs that he thought were logical, and I agree that staying with immigration, homeland security and medical fields are the way to go. He makes me feel like I'm apart of the family. He's honestly the dad I wish I had. I tear up everytime I think about it because I never had that father figure. It just feels good to hear that from someone very important to me. I will never forget anything he says and the times Jaina and I have had together. But its time to move forwards and learn from my mistakes. Thank you uncle, you are the dad I was always missing from my life. If you were not there, I would not know how reconnect with the world and with myself. And Jaina, you don't know how lucky you are to have a dad like that.

I really appreciate all of your talks we had. Thank you.

The Beginning of the End

Life is always changing, and for me it's not in a good way. I began the year as a single man. And the way I think about that is I (excuse my language) fucked up and lost the biggest catch ever. She was definitely a fish that should have been kept. There's a really high chance that I will never have another opportunity to get back with her, so I'll let her do her and I'll do me. What more can I do except be patient and hope for the best. Maybe it's another opportunity of life for me. I'm a little...more say disappointed in myself that I let this happen. Now I'm left in the dust letting some other person smack on my former girl.

Things like that haunt the shit out of me, but what can I do when a person doesn't want to listen about what you have to say. I'm an embarrassment in life and I need to get my act together. There's nothing more, how should I say this...disrespectful than being called a jerk, an embarrassment, so on and so forth.

So where do I go from here? Try to move on and forget about the past because that's long gone. If she wants to move forward with her life, I'll let her be and keep out of her privacy because that's how I would like it. And as for me? I lost my love of my life and it'll be really hard for me to move on. So what should I do? I'm just going to soak everything in and try to refocus. Now is not the time to be having a girlfriend and I need to get my priorities straight.

If I hadn't have gotten a girlfriend, I would have been done with college already and gotten a job out of this state. Don't get me wrong, I love Cali, but there are bigger and better opportunities of the state, and not to mention the experience you can obtain. I went from trying to become a physical therapist into become a sports med doctor. My goal in life is to help people, and that's what I love to do. I take pride in what I'm going to do and I'm striving to be the best!

I hate to say it, but women, I'm a single man!

This time, I'm ready for anything!

Imperfection vs. Perfection

I realize that I will never be perfect, even though I strive for perfection. People make mistakes, and even if you try to fix whats right, you don't want to be acknowledged for it. But life is not an easy task as people take it for granted. Appreciate all the good things life has to offer you because they can disappear right before your eyes. Disappointment is what I'm feeling inside and I will never forgive myself. Maybe I shouldn't be so down on myself, but I should. Maybe I'll discuss with you why I'm acting in such a way...some time in the near future.

I don't know where I'll be in the future, but all I know is that Sports Medicine is in my veins. I live and breathe it, and till I become a doctor, I will truly be satisfied and feel accomplished. You make mistakes in life and corrections have to be made.

The only thing that's keeping me sane is basketball. Where I would be without you...probably be on the streets right now, without a future to look forward to.

Life is not to be treated lightly.

Unappreciation

I take what I have for granted, and under-appreciate the good things in my life. First off, life itself is under-appreciated. Just living the life I have now is just a privilege. To be living in a home, I'm just so thankful.

I can never give enough attention to Jaina. She is the sunshine of my life and my love for her is so unconditional. I love you Jaina, always have always will and nothing will ever change that.