R.I.P. Alex Drake March 29, 2009

When I first met you, I already knew you were going to be the chillest Assistant Store Manager we were going to have. We connected with stories about the Lakers, Louis Vuitton, Nintendo Wii. And we were so close in age that we just clicked. There were so many good things I could say about her. There will never be another Alex, another person so influential to anybody's life. The last thing she said to me before she had her baby, "Finish school Julius." Now I have every reason to finish school and the extra motivation for living life.

Alex, I love you and although we were not immediate family, we were family, The Home Depot family, a great family. You will deeply be missed and always apart of my life. Thank you for the memories. I will see you soon.

Lord, thank you for the blessing of having Alex in my life. I cannot thank you enough.

UPDATE: On the March 29, 2009, the Mira Mesa Home Depot was to have a store meeting. She had texted at approximately 11:14AM that she would be attending the meeting. She sent the text to Traci. At 11:18AM, she was involved in an accident that unfortunately took her life.

The crazy thing is that I knew she was there. Our culture believes that once you see a moth or a butterfly after someone passes away, then that is supposed to be her spirit.

It gave me the chills, but I knew she was there.



The color pallet of this moth is just out of the ordinary. And the size of the moth was no normal moth.

An article from CW6:

DUI Crackdown following Young Mother's Death on SR-67

CHP officers will be stepping up their DUI patrols on State Route 67 with the help of a $265,000 grant.
Pam McKeirnan angrily talks about State Route 67. On Sunday, she witnessed her 25-year old daughter, Alexandria Drake, die in a crash. Alex's 4-week old son Jayden was in the backseat but survived the crash.

"This little boy is now motherless, because we don't have center divides on that road -- because a man was racing," McKeirnan said.





Pam McKeirnan holds grandson Jayden.

Police say two reckless drivers racing down the highway took the life of McKeiran's daughter. Pam believes a safer highway 67 would've saved Alex.

”There are trees and it is the trees that killed my child. Removal of the trees and widen the road," is what she demands.

There have been 50 head on collisions, with 7 deaths in 7 years, according to county leaders who say they are trying to make highway 67 safer.

Caltrans spokesman Bill Valle at a news conference on Tuesday said, "The 67 it is not wide enough in many areas to put in K-rail. You would have to widen the roadway and have to account for left turns."

Valle says long term safety improvements for highway 67 are only on the chalkboard. Speed sensors on the road along with rumble strips on the medians are the short term solutions.

Jay Drake, Alex's husband, thinks more needs to be done. He said, "When they come around those corners -- because there is a lot of corners -- someone has to think, 'Oh, wow -- is there going to be a car coming on my side of the road?'"

With the federal grant, CHP officers will add 2200 more patrol hours to conduct more roving DUI patrols and setup sobriety checkpoints.

McKeirnan is hopeful this will save lives on what's proving to be a deadly highway.

Alexandria's family has set up a memorial fund to help Jayden's future. If you would like to contribute, make your donations to the "Alex and Jayden Drake Fund" at the Mission Federal Credit Union.

Tragic Death



A medical helicopter lands on a closed section of SR-67 Sunday afternoon at the scene of a head-on crash. (Photo: JC Playford)

California Highway Patrol officers are looking for the driver of a white BMW which may have been involved in the deadly accident that took the life of 25-year-old Alexandria Drake. The accident happened Sunday morning on State Route 67 near Archie Moore Road in Ramona.

At the crash scene, Home Depot workers held an unplanned prayer service on Monday. There wasn't a dry eye on the side of the road where Alex Drake's Volvo had crashed into a tree. Drake’s co-workers from Home Depot comforted one another and left messages behind on a small cross.

"It's just sad," Laura Cortez tearfully said. "The baby's never going to get to know his mother."

Drake's newborn baby boy had been strapped into the backseat and survived the crash.



Diane McMahon heard the impact of the crash. She rushed to the site and stayed there the whole day to comfort family members. She said, "It will stay with me forever to see the baby chair laying out there."

CHP officers say the accident happened as a Jaguar, going about 80mph, tried to outrace a white BMW. The Jaguar lost control.

Investigators say Drake's mother was riding in an SUV ahead of her daughter. The Jaguar clipped the SUV as a deadly chain reaction started.

Drake hit the crashed Jaguar, sending her Volvo into a tree. The driver in the Jaguar went to the hospital. The other racer fled the scene.

Laura Cortez made a plea to that driver. "That person knows they were involved and if they have any kind of heart for any family, especially that baby, just go to the police and turn yourself in."



The driver of the Jaguar was 47-year-old Melvin Pearless of Ranchita. He's not under arrest, but he probably will face a vehicular manslaughter charge.

As for the driver of the white BMW there is no description on that person, but police would like to talk to the driver.

If anyone has information on the crash you are asked to call the CHP at 619-401-2000.

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART

A Book Without Illustrations

Why is it that some books contain illustrations. For the purpose of using your mind of imagination. Many of my good friends have already graduated from college, and I feel like by sitting here and wasting all this time, I need to really sit down and prove to my parents that I can be successful. There's work to be done and not plenty of time to waste. How about a situation where you gave up to soon. Some people are nervous about what they say because it can flip into a negative situation. Maybe because people are afraid to let people what they know. I list myself as one of those people. But you always have to stick by your decision. It's hard seeing your mind think about defeat, and the path to glory is drifting away into the darkness. But suddenly, a movie gives to a sign of hope and suddnenly you see another path to glory and a shot of redemption. Before it's too late, I told myself that I would never give up. Sometimes, things need to be said and need to be controlled. I am no punk and I definitely have a mind of my own. So why am I taking it in? Because I'm afraid to speak my mind and say want I truly would like to say. "I will never give up!" "I refuse to give up!" those were the statements strengthen me into a stronger individual mentally and emotionally. There's much to learn in life so I pass on intervening and respect her decision. Maybe it takes time, or a little reminder that you still care, or a little of both? But I keep to my place right now and building her up with trust will only help me further in life. Seeing is believing the unbelievable. Step up my choices, my decision making and my judgements. Being aware gets me one step closer.

Anyways, the championship was won by the team of "Whack Attack" that I'm proud to say I was on. And we beat the team that beat us in the regular season and ruined our perfect season. Now it was pay back and showed them what the team really does. I feel bad for the other team. They actually ran it last year and were defending champs, and they didn't receive any type of award. We get t-shirts to prove were the champs. It was fun besides the whole being injured part. There's much to do and much to improve on.

Love & Basketball, the perfect movie to watch on a date. The music, screenplay just go hand in hand. On of my all-time favorite movies.

The Wood is next to watch. You know love when you see it.

An Oppotunity To Grow

I fell in love with a wonderful woman, but things didn't go according to plan. We were once very serious, engaged and ready for marriage. But because of the mistakes I've made, I have pushed her to the limit. Our relationship gave me valuable lessons and made me into a better person. We are still very good friends, actually we can each call each other best friends. As odd as it seems, and even if she has met a new person, my heart is stronger. She can talk about him, although sometimes I'm kind of sick of her talking about him, but I put up with it because my strength is listening, caring, and with everything I put her through, I owe her everything. That's why I want to be the best friend I can be. No matter what, I promised that I would be there for her. Maybe I shouldn't be talking to her at all, but a promise is a promise an that's what I intend to keep.

So now that I am single, I can explore my options and focus on my priorities. Since being back on the ocean, there are plenty more fish in the sea, although I lost a big catch. Life is life and sometimes it doesn't end up according to plan. There are bumps in the road and many things to learn. This is an opportunity for me to shine brighter.

I'm in great shape, my confidence has boosted, and my priorities are my priorities not someone else's. It's time to grow up and be a better man.

M.O.B.

Motivated!

A Reply To "Don't Answer That"

All I can say is that if there's a hot girl sitting in the corner, I would be chatting it up with her. I'll serenade her with my manly voice and put her in a deep trance of love. Ha, but I would definitely step up to the plate and go for the home run by talking a little bit and getting to know her. What have you got to lose? Exactly, so just do it! Everyone gets nervous, use that as a rush.

So Ulster my friend, give me a call so we can discuss more about this female, plus I no longer have your number since obtaining a replacement of a new old phone. Meaning a brand new 1st generation phone, not to be confused with 1st generation: Edge and 2nd generation: 3G.

I was contemplating on a blackberry storm, until I updated my iPhone. Got it unlocked and now I have GPS and MMS and not to mention a legit AIM.

Contemplating: Macbook Air or Macbook Pro
Will get: iMac 24" or any other iMac I see that is appealing

Love vs Money

He has a unique voice and a very talented writer. The-Dream has written tracks for numerous artists such as Rhianna's "Umbrella" and J. Holiday's "Bed." He also worked on Mary J. Blige's CD "Growing Pains" that won him a grammy for best album. At first, My first reaction to the CD was that it wasn't as good as the first., but the more and more I listen to it, I enjoy it. I think it's actually a great 2nd album and a highly recommend that your 'purchase' it (just trying to stimulate the economy and supporting anti-piracy). I bet if he wrote me a track, and I sang it, I would be like a J. Holiday. Ha, how I wished my voice was as good as his. If you can't afford it, I'll allow you to download it.

Music makes my world go round.

"When they ask you do I dance like Chris, tell them no, but as much rubbing as we do, I can start a fire." -The-Dream

What Hurts The Most

What hurts the most is when someone gives up on you. That's the worst feeling in the world. I felt that I have given everything, snowboard gear, painted room with the addition of new furniture, gifts like louis vuitton bags, kicks like fire red iii's, bmps, air stabs, and heels, a camera, a wii, and other things. It's unbelievable how much lives can flip. People don't realize and don't go into deeper thought about the things a person does. People throw it away and think about themselves. It was never about money, it was about love. Love is a powerful thing. People come in and out of your lives like words come in the ear and out the other. Just remember to take things slow. She ruined a life of prosperity. She ruined my education. If it wasn't for her, I would be off and done with school, bills would already been paid off a long time ago, and I would be a little successful in life.

All I can do is bounce back, live life and play the game. Since things have changed, I have been working out hard, getting my body in shape to where it used to be. There's some things I have improved in, and pains that I have endured and learned from. My heart is steel, I feel like I can endure anything. All I can do is get my mind off completely by occupying myself, although I always want to do the right thing, I should stop picking up her phone calls when she calls because it makes me think and messes up my day. I guess now, I have to work harder, workout harder, get my whole body into steel, and make a statement.

Lord give me strength.

New Phone Comes New Consequences

So I wasn't fully prepared to swap out my old iPhone for a new one. My phone was still under warranty dead pixels began to spread with each day becoming worse and worse. So all my music, or what music I had on there is gone, my masturbation videos are wiped out, and my private stash of pictures are also gone, oh and most importantly, since I have no computer, and was too lazy to finish writing down all of my contacts, they are all completely gone. So All I have left for numbers are from A-C. Way too many numbers after that. Well, I guess it's time for a new beginning and a fresh new start to my new life. Brand new phone: check. Black Audi A8 and black Ducati 989 or 1098, my fantasy of a threesome will soon be complete. Who needs a girl when you can get more than one. Time to step up game and play with the big dogs. People don't realize what was right in front of their faces. You are who you are and you will never change who you are. Egos clash and people are too stuck living a lavish lifestyle. It's just how it is. I mean, money will never change me. It will never change my personality, it will never change me. Anyways, the iPhone is a brand new 2g iPhone, not a 3G. It would have been nice to get a 3G, but anything is better than nothing at all. I don't have myspace or facebook, so please call me and leave your name and number.

I can walk on my ankle, minimal pain, cannot run yet. If you have Vicoden, please kindly donate them to me.

Thank you!

From Pain To Pleasure

So Wednesday night, I had a basketball game. So half way through the game, I attempt a shot block, but everything went wrong when I landed on the opponents foot a tweaked my ankle. To my suprise, no one came to my aide, no teammates or friends from the crowd. But you know what, that kind of thing happens. Well I was wearing a pair of 2k5s that I have since retired. Even with the ankle strap, I still managed to sprain my ankle. Ended up being a high ankle sprain. I didn't go to the doctor because there was no time. So I took every precaution by taping up my ankle, elevating and icing. It was so painful, I could not even sleep. It was just so uncomfortable putting my foot under the blanket and especially the throbbing pain that was coming from it. The next day, I had my foot worked on by an herbal doctor. She had this small container consisting of coconut oil. She took the coconut oil and applied it on my ankle, massaging and working out the cold areas and making sure my foot stayed warm. Beats going to a doctor and forking over a tremendous amount of money just to get some x-rays confirming that it's swollen and getting medication for it. Why should I have to pay hundreds of dollars for that?

So Friday, I come into work on crutches. It helped ease the pain on my ankle. By the end of the night, I was able to walk little by little on it. To my suprise, I didn't think I would be able to walk for another week, but it just feels so good! It's just amazing how fast it's heeling! Anyways, after the painful massage of cocnut oil, she wrapped my leg with Ginger.

I was supposed to head up to Anaheim Thursday night, but my ankle was just too jerked up, so I stayed home instead. Saturday night, I was supposed to hit up Onyx Downtown to party, but I decided to stay home instead and get my ankle better. So I work out to relieve all this stress of pain from my ankle and everything else. Now I feel great and ready to work not only for money, but especially on my body. My physicality will soon be at the level I am hoping to be at once more. 8 pack here I come! That's right ya'll! Time to get back in shape. If you want to work out with me, I'll get your body in tip top shape as Summer arrives. Hit me up anytime. I'm serious, you're looking at someone who will change your life. Get up and do something.

Julius is coming back.

Pain is pleasure. Believe dat!

Dueces!

Tuesday

So my day began knowing that I would spend the day with Jaina. It's hard to see her as just a friend, but that's just how things go sometimes. All that matters is that we still keep in contact with each other and still manage to tell each other everything. She is the only person that I could confide in and truly knows me inside and out. Anyways, we talked on the phone for an hour or so and she finally decided that she wanted a new phone. It was definitely time for a new phone after the episode I had witnessed. I had told her that I was eligible for an upgrade since I have the 2nd generation iPhone (not 3g), so I could have gotten any phone I wanted. I was originally going to use it to buy her a phone for Christmas, but unfortunately, other things came up. Anyways, we got off the phone to get ready to check out the phone at AT&T.

I arrive at her house, and take her to also run a few errands. First off, we hit up the AT&T store the recently just opened up by my house. It's an extremely big store with so little merchandise. You can run around the store without actually knocking anything over. Anyways, we walked in and were kindly greeted by one of the sales reps there. He helps us out every step of the way. While he checked on the inventory on the back for the Samsung Eternity, Jaina and I checked out the phone on display. At first, Jaina was very disappointed because she thought there was no qwerty board. But we later figured out that you have to tilt the screen in order for it to become a qwerty board. She told me she fell in love with the phone. So, we got started right away to walk out the store with her new phone. It was quite a process, but everything went in an orderly fashion. So after about 20-30 minutes in the store, Jaina was the new owner of a brand new Samsung Eternity.

After hitting up the AT&T store, we had lunch at L&L's. Since Willy's Workshop was next door, we stopped through the store, said wassup to the homie JR and checked out the inventory. Both women and men lines were honestly not looking good. They need to pickup a few more better clothes an lines. We were both famished and were ready to eat. I ordered the chicken katsu as usual and Jaina ordered the breaded Mahi Mahi. What was amazing to me to see was her eating the macaroni. I would have never thought that she would let alone finish the macaroni. It's just weird how people suddenly change. Maybe I just wasn't that person able to change her. And she was like I'm finished before you, but she didn't realize how much chicken to her little mahi mahi. My portion was just remendously bigger.

After feeling a bit bloated, Jaina wanted ice cream from Rite Aid. So we headed to the Mira Mesa location, but for some reason it was out of order. I'm assuming that the lady at the register was too busy or just didn't want to serve ice cream. So we were very irritated about that. Jaina had a Hello Kitty bank that she wanted to empty out at one of the Navy Federal branches, but only the Del Mar and the Mission Valley locations were the closet to carey those change machines. So I suggested that we hit up the Navy Fed off of Mission Gorge then head over to the Target. She had to return a few things she bought during her stress shopping before surgery. She purchased a few Hello Kittty items impulsly because it was Hello Kitty. Well, we returned them they she found a pair of jeans, gray jeans frrom some designer. I told her not to get them and just dave money. I on the other hand, purchased the new The-Dream cd. His album is relaxing, and catchy and makes you think.

After Target, we wanted ice cream, the Jaina noticed the Kona Cakes across the street. But because they were out of Belgian White chocolate, more than half of the blended drinks selection could not be produced. So we decided to heck if there was a Rite Aid location near by. I recalled seeing a Rite Aid, and Jaina confirmed with Jacque that there was one by the Vons off of Mission Gorge. We stopped by Kristian's place to visit him and Kayden, and to finish our ice cream before we headed home. She reminded me to stop by my house to pick up the A Tribe Called Quest cd so she could bump it in her car. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I provided her a sub and amp for her car. So I got the cd and end up back at her house. I was awfully exhausted, but Jaina insisted that I walk Rocky. So I did, and he handled his normal territorial markings and waste of shit, and not to mention needed exercise since all he does is eat, sleep, and chill in the house most of the day.

So after that, I went home prepared myself for a basketball game. I'm a bit frustrated that we lost and I just want to leave it at that. I'll be headed to Anaheim at the Heat Lounge. Get some much needed away time from San Diego. There's just much more to explore in numerous ways. But all-in-all, thank the Lord it was a great day. It felt great hanging out with her and showing her that I want to be there and help her out. I may not have the brain of a genius, but I have the heart of a lion.

The Lord has treated me great no matter what I do, whether right or wrong. Thank you Jaina for being the rock in my life.

Lord, give me another chance, please.

A Weekend Filled With Birthday Celebrations

There's nothing better to take your mind off things and paint the town red, or hang out with friends, drink and have BBQ's. And also, what an expensive weekend as I believe I spent close to $200. I should be holding on as tight as possible with my money especially in this economy. I shouldn't be throwing everything away on unnecessary items. Any how, my tv is in and boy am I loving it. All I need to do is paint my furniture so everything matches, paint my room and drill more holes in my wall to elimiate a few loose wires that are just hanging. Although I wish I had a better tv, it beats watching on the tv I had before.

Off to the people who were celebrating birthdays: my homey Angel's girlfriend Mellanie celebrated her 23rd birthday March 7, my homie Allan celebrated his 24th birthday March 8th and my friend Romin's birthday is on March 11th I believe. It was a weekend filled with drinking, but this time, I made sure that I would not drink over my limit. Thank the Lord everything went smoothly. Well, I have been keeping busy by reading this book entitled "The Divine Comedy" by Dante. It's a difficult story to understand, but reading over it the 2nd time makes it more clearer; it makes better sense.

I am stoked about leaving for the Philippines because I'll be able to venture out and see what I have been missing. The fish that are in the sea. I was hanging out in an aquarium for a bit, but I got flushed down the toilet and now I'm back.

Happy birthday to everyone in the month of March!

Cheers!!

My Best Friend

Yesterday, I was blown away, literally. A couple of the homies watched this funny motherfuckin movie titled "Zack and Miri Make A Porno." Seriously, it was funny, and just made me think about my best friend. I may not have known her since 1st grade, but I've known her for a whole 4 years. It's crazy how fantastically good this movie is. I recommend it. A great date movie. It'll make you laugh, and make you want to have sex, or in my case reminisce about my ex-girl turned best friend for eternity. I just thought about the good things that went on when we were together, strong. I flash back at when I had my teeth knocked out from the dentist, and she was there by my side. I reminisce about the first time I met her, watching her volleyball practice, the first time we danced. She was as beautiful as I can remember, inside and out. Without her make-up, you can see her natural beauty. And her personality is unlike anybody's. I miss those days, and now all I can do is be the best friend that I can be as much as my feelings get hurt inside. I will always have the utmost respect for her and I will always love her. Some people don't recognize a great thing when they're gone. Zack and Miri, an instant classic. I talk to her more than I talk to my parents. She keeps me level-headed and always gave me such great advice and helped me with so many things. I admit, I acted really selfish and I don't know what came over me. I was just so attached at the hip, that all I can think about was Jaina. I'm just a lost soul trying to find it's way back. There's much to learn and much to accomplish. Thank you for showing me what love is and for being there every step of the way.

Shedding tears is a side of weakness.

And for that, I'm sorry.

What An Unproductive Day

The day began laying in my bed doing nothing but contemplating on everything that has been going on throughout my life, just having flashbacks. I browse my iPhone as I do no longer have a MacBook or a functional desktop. So I'm stuck blogging through my phone, thus no pictures to your avail. Continuing on with my story, I have been browsing back and forth on craigslist searching for a wall mount for my newest addition: WELCOME! 42" Philips Plaasssma TV! It's just too bad that I gave up television for Lent. But it's alright because there are plenty of other things to do that are physically active. I have been pretty caught up with bills, paying another credit card off. I keep getting side tracked, back to the story. So I was about to purchase a wall mount for my tv from The Home Depot, but luckily I was able to get a hold of a seller off craigslist. He sold me a wall mount and HDMI cables for a total of $70. I would have paid well over $100 for everything at The Home Depot. Thankfully, everything turned out well. But I am waiting for my boy Merle to help me install it on Thursday, as it's his day off from work. I'll hook him up with some brew and food, or cash for his help. That's the least I can do. I don't scrub off homies, plus he's taking time off his day off to help me.

I keep forgetting I need to paint my room. My room is going to be fresh! I keep telling myself that I need to paint my room, and now I have to do it tomorrow. I can't take a break or I can't wait because it needs to be done before I install the wall mount. There is much work to do in so little time. If you've seen my room, you can see the half of my room is half white, and the other off-white. So I have to paint over the half of the ceiling that is off-white to white, my crown molding black and the walls gray. I hope I can finish everything in one day. I'll have to have some more help from my friends. I'll ask Jared if he wants to come help me out. Or maybe my boy Ulster who I haven't seen in ages. Maybe he can take abreak from school to come see a friend. There is much I need to do before this tv is set into place. Let's hope that everything will be accomplished in the little time I have. I'll be sure to take before and after picks this time of my work. It's just too bad that I won't be able to post them for awhile, thus the whole no laptop, no desktop thing. Sucks!

Modded Playstsaion 2 for sale with monitor, 1 controller and a shit load of games. $200. I think it's a pretty good deal considering the mass amount of games plus the portable monitor being thrown in. It's ancient! Not really, but it needs to get out of this room and house. It needs to be replaced with a Playstation 3 so I can play some Time Crisis 4 and experiencing Blu Ray on high definition. The Wii can only do so much for me. Don't get me wrong, it's fun for parties and what not. Maybe it just needs to be modded to it's full potential. Yes, that's exactly it.

So what to do now. I guess hit the sheets and call it a day. Tomorrow a morning of school, then heading over to the closed down facevalue store to remove the remaining furniture. If you need fresh gear ladies and gentlemen, get a hold of me. My boy Shane is still selling shit from his garaje. My next addition will be a pair of black Common Projects Dress Shoes Perforated. I need to step up my grown man attire as I'm getting older and older. Simple is beautiful to me. Flashy was the younger days, so it's hard to pull off gold kicks. Even though I do have a pair of Supra 14k gold Skytops sz. 10 I'm looking to get rid of. $280 VNDS. Got other kicks I need to get rid of to thin out of my closet for more room for possibly kicks and not to mention gear. Wesc peacoat if not sold will be in my possession and in my closet! Audi A8, you are as good as mine! You are always in my dreams.

If you need kicks, or know anybody that needs or wants some, a PS2, get at me and let me know. I need to fund the Julius needs money foundation.

I want another slurpee and some food for my stomach.

Free Time

I have had lots of free time lately. Most of the time you'll find me studying, but now I have room to actually work-out. I haven't felt this good about my body in awhile. And now, I'm striving to be in the best shape of my life. There are parts of my body that need to be worked on and, that's alright because you can figure out what exercise, what type of training you need for that certain area.

I am in search of a laptop, an apple laptop preferably as I have had no troubles with them and have been completely satisfied with everything apple has to offer. I'm looking for a MacBook or MacBook Pro. I'm also looking for a new desktop. Possibly an Apple as well, but whatever has a better deal will be fine.

I've learned that things will come and go and sometimes fall into your lap. Just going where the wind takes me.

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

The memories we've shared, the time we've spent will always be treasured in my heart. As of this moment in time, words can't express my emotions. Now, it's time to envision a life moving forward from the engulfness of sadness. I am not ready to be out in the dating scene quite yet, but I'm ready for the challenged that are ahead. I am ready to work hard to where I deserve to be and that's to become successful, to become an entreprenuer, a successor in life itself. Friendship is a comrodary between two or more individuals, and being a friend is someone who will be there by your side, somone who is willing to listen when you need to talk, or gives you advice, or gives you a helping hand. And even if I can't say your mine, I love you to death. It's hard to fathom reality when it hits you right in the gut, dead center on the nerve of your heart, but God sent me here in this lifetime for a reason. To conquer and endure and move on.

It's time I get my life straight and figure out what exactly I would like to do with my life. I will be traveling to the Philippines in June, and I'll be looking to try-out for possibly the PBA or so. I'll will be dedicating most of my time to basketball. Hopefully it will land me a shot with a professional team. I'm a competitor, and I love basketball, so I believe it's time to work hard and go with the flow and aim for a goal. There are people that give up too soon, and I don't want to be that person. I think it's time to get my head straight, create a checklist of goals I would like to accomplish, and set my mind to them. A slap in the face into reality was what I needed. There's things I need to do for myself to figure out if I belong.

I'll probably be on the most terrible mood swings throughout this year, from sadness to happiness and vice versa. Tonight I'm sad about what I heard tonight, but I'm glad that I did hear it and the strong support that I have given. For how I wish I can turn back the hands of time, but what's done is done.

It's so hard to say goodbye to the yesterdays, but it is what it is.

READING THE PAST, LIVING THE FUTURE. (how true it is.)