Unpredictable

Much of my characteristics are based on my unpredictability, if that's even a word. There's some decisions that I make on the fly, but I really need to think before I really commit myself and finalize my decision.

And honestly life isn't about ME anymore, it's about US. I have to think more on what's best for our life and not my life. That's how life is when you're in a commitment. You have to commit and make decisions based on what's best for the both of us. With that said, I haven't really took that into consideration. Sometimes, I seem to forget to consult and discuss with my girl about the decisions I make.

Therefore, I have vowed to talk and discuss anything with my girl because honestly, I don't want to hide anything from her. If she opened up her life to me, then why can't I. Maybe it's an insecurity of mine, or maybe I choose not to, or maybe I just don't care. Well, my lack of initiating conversation and opening up my heart fully is probably because I don't want my heart broken again. But hey, life isn't easy, but I'll do whatever it takes to penetrate that force field that's repelling me from opening up.

Sometimes, changes in life are good, but not all are considered that way. Hopefully this change is for the best.

It's a hard knock life, seriously!

Just a couple of celebrations coming up:
Dexter & Jared's birthday @ On Broadway, Downtown this Friday.
(Sorry ya'll, I can't make it out due to work.)

I Feel Like Such A Disappointment

Since taking off this semester, I feel like I shouldn't have because it feels like I can't relax. I feel like I'm pressured into getting back to school. I know I should have been done 2 years or a year ago, but there was a certain path I had taken where I was trying to figure out what I really wanted to do. I feel like I put myself in a cellar with no light, and I feel like getting a degree is my only way out. I know my priorities, and they're going to be a bit tweaked. I feel like I'm drifting away and wasting my life away. I need to stop thinking about myself and more about us. If I'm looking towards a future with my future wifey, then I can't just think about myself. I'm a mess and I need to break out of the black hole and into the light! Sometimes I feel like leaving this world, but that would be the easy way out. Life isn't easy, and its never meant to be. We can only work hard to where we feel comfortable at being. Life is a challenge.

Education is the future and shouldn't be taken for granted. I feel like the biggest disappointment to not only my parents, my gf, and her parents, but to everyone who sees potential in me. I appreciate all your words of wisdom and all the support. I could have never been so motivated to graduate and get my life in track.

I promise to graduate with a college degree.